What’s the purpose of a sexy swimsuit calendar on the back of a toilet door? This is the last place I want to regard, or by some nightmare of science, be regarded by a beautiful woman. I don’t want to plan my month in here either, this is a time for quiet reflection. A time to search the app store for whatever games are topping the Free charts and to play them for five minutes and then never again. This calendar is from 2013. Can she see me? Is she dead and that’s why she’s not moving?